


Cause I Got High

by Buildyourwalls



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: American cheesy snack foods, Appropriation of a Prince song, Badly cast wandless spells, Blaise Zabini is a Weed Tycoon, Caught in the Act, Eventual nipple licking, Friends to Lovers, Frotting, Harry was not pleased, Hilarity Ensues, Humor, M/M, Minor Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Petty pilfering of the Malfoy stash, Post-Hogwarts, Purple Blaze, Recreational Drug Use, Shotgunning, Stoned Shenanigans, Stoned banter, The boys are alright, Thinking about nipples
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 09:02:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20618453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Buildyourwalls/pseuds/Buildyourwalls
Summary: Teddy and James sample Draco's weed and enjoy Cheetos.





	Cause I Got High

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aibidil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aibidil/gifts).

> So this idea came to me when @aibidil and I were discussing how much we love writing about HP chars smoking weed. And then the muse took me to many places and this is the result.
> 
> Many thanks to @maesterchill for the beta, the help with the tags, and the unending hand holding. Thanks to Aib for being a delight about this whole fic. May this bring you all the happiness you ever could ask for in one solid story. Thanks to Zeit for the ending, and to @carpemermaidtales for the idea of making a spotify playlist.
> 
> Much love to @trishjames and @shealwaysreads for being fist pumping supporters.
> 
> My friends are really incredible and the list goes on too long to explain the amount of love and affection that I have for them. It'll be like an Oscar speech if I continue further. Even a short little fic requires a village.
> 
> Title comes from Afroman "Because I Got High" - A true gift of a Millennial generation.

I got the Rolly on my arm  
And I'm pouring Chandon  
And I roll the best weed cause I got it going on  
**Drop It Like It’s Hot (Snoop Dog)**   
  
*  
  
  
James loves Teddy. Like, really loves Teddy. He was there to show him a cool trick on his broom when he was eleven; he was there when James had his first Quidditch game at Hogwarts; and he was there when James realised that his attraction to girls was obsolete compared to his attraction to guys and the subsequent identity crisis that ensued after that.

He was also there for him when his father decided that Draco Malfoy would make a suitable partner close to two years after the divorce of his mum. James tries not to think about that too much.

But most importantly, what James loves about Teddy is that he’s willing to get high with him whenever the mood springs up. It springs up often.

They’re spread out on the parquet flooring of Harry’s flat, warm afternoon sunlight stretching in from the balcony outside. The sounds of Prince blare in the background. James’s muscles are loose and relaxed, and he lifts his hand up to the ceiling, balling it into a solid fist as he cries out, “Purple blazed! Purple blaaaaazed!”

Teddy snorts next to him, turning his face towards James, breath warm over his cheek. “I think you have your lyrics mixed up.”

“Au contraire,” James replies, his voice slurring a bit. “Blaise Zabini is a genius, and by genius I mean he puts his company name into all of his products. Therefore my word association is genius.”

Teddy chuckles low and deep, the sound thrumming through James’s body and landing tight in his chest. “You said genius three times.”

James hums, closing his eyes. “It needed reinforcement.”

Blaise Zabini is a genius. The business he so eloquently calls Blazed has become both a huge empire in the Muggle and Magical world. How Zabini created an empire dedicated to marijuana—and not just your run of the mill weed, his shit contained magical elements—James will never know. But he will always sing the Purple Blaze anthem in his honour.

The crinkle of a bag filters over Prince’s voice, accompanied by the soft crunch noise of Teddy’s jaw. James swallows hard, closing his eyes to control the heat pooling in his stomach. He will not get hard in front of Teddy, and it’s utterly ridiculous that considering how blitzed he is right now that his body still betrays him like this. It’s also utterly ridiculous that his dick wants to get hard just from the sound of Teddy eating crisps.

“These crisps your Mum brought back from America are addictive,” Teddy muses. He spreads his palm mere centimetres from his face, eyebrows wrinkling in concentration. There’s a thick coating of cheese dust on Teddy’s fingertips. James has the urge to suck on them, both for the cheese flavour and the thrilling thought of seeing Teddy’s reaction. “And they’re really messy. I wish we had Cheehos here.”

“Cheetos,” James corrects, lifting himself up on an elbow and peering down at Teddy’s white t-shirt. The hem has bunched up over his stomach, exposing a small strip of bare skin. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment to get his bearings, and scrubs a hand over his face before he speaks again. “‘Sides, they’re basically American Wotsits. You can have those anytime.”

“They’re not the same,” Teddy murmurs, his eyes still studying the cheese dust. “They’re... better. Cheesy magic. Wotsit?” He screws up his eyebrows. “Nah.”

James chews on his lip. He’s looking at the soft ridges on Teddy’s furrowed brow and realises he’s totally lost the thread of the conversation. He tries to remember what they were talking about and fails. Instead he repeats, “Wotsit?”

Teddy shrugs. "I dunno, wotsit?"

"No, wotsit?" James says. Then he shakes his head and lets it go. He’s too focused on the fact that Teddy is stretching in front of him and the trail of dark hair extending below the waistband of his jeans.

“Aw, fuck me,” Teddy whinges, and James peers down at the long streak of orange dust trailing the middle of Teddy’s t-shirt. The perfect swipe formation of the lines are stark evidence of Teddy’s brutal mistake.

James laughs. “Did you just wipe your hand on your shirt?”

“The cheese dust wouldn’t come off!” Teddy protests.

“You’re supposed to lick it off.”

“I did! Look!” Teddy splays his hand close to James’s face. His fingers are tinted a vibrant orange, stubborn specks of Cheeto dust still attached to the surface. James licks his lips and focuses back on the messy shirt.

“I can fix that for you,” he says, nodding at the stained cotton. “Wandless, too.”

“Oh. Well.” Teddy wiggles a little on the floor, preparing for a Scourgify. “Please do. Carry on.”

James waves his hand over the stain. Immediately, Teddy’s shirt disappears. Teddy cranes his neck and examines his bare torso, a cheese encrusted fingertip tracing over his chest, unintentionally evacuating the remaining dust onto his nipples.

“Oh my god,” Teddy says and falls back laughing, wrapping his arms around his waist. James laughs with him, and they continue cackling until James’s eyes are wet and his stomach hurts.

“Mate, that was an utter disaster,” Teddy wheezes between breaths.

James really doesn’t agree. He’s quite pleased that his botched wandless magic made Teddy’s shirt vanish in front of his eyes. James wants to roll on top of him and explore the long expanse of jutting collarbone with his mouth, lick off the remnants of Cheetos on his nipples. James has never loved Cheetos more in his life. What is that Muggle phrase he hears all the time on the telly? God Bless. God bless Cheetos. God Bless America.

“Do you want me to grab a spare shirt from my room?” James asks. He doesn’t pay attention to how rough his voice sounds, no, no, or the sinking disappointment settling in his stomach at the thought Teddy will accept the offer.

“Nah,” Teddy says, pillowing his hands under his head and closing his eyes. They sit in silence, Prince crooning in the background, the sweet heady scent of Purple Blaze permeating the air. James’s hands twitch the longer he stares down at the rise and fall of Teddy’s bare chest, that stubborn Cheeto dust still sitting on his nipples. Fuck, doesn’t Teddy know that dust needs to be licked off?

“What are you doing?” Teddy asks. James jumps a little, worried he’s caught, but notices that Teddy’s eyes have remained closed. Thank Merlin for small mercies.

“Um,” James says in response. Teddy pats the floor next to him.

“Relax,” he murmurs. “Come lie here and listen to the dulcet tones of Prince with me.”

James snorts a laugh, manoeuvring himself into the original position they were both in, their bodies lying in opposite directions, heads aligned but faces upside down. Teddy’s hair is blond today, longer than he usually keeps it, and James likes it. He likes it a lot. He likes the way it falls over Teddy’s forehead and into his eyelashes, likes the way it somehow makes them more blue.

Basically he just really likes Teddy. James is so fucked.

Teddy rolls his head so their faces are close. James can feel the warmth of his breath against his chin. Teddy smiles and opens his eyes.

“Hi.”

James smiles back. “Hiya.”

“I’m gonna take another hit. You in?”

James is in for anything with Teddy at this point. “Sure.”

“Awesome.” Teddy grunts as he pulls himself up. James closes his eyes, listening to the shuffle of Teddy scooting across the floor to the impressive bong that sits in the corner of the room. James knows it’s Draco’s, and while Draco rarely indulges in such activities, he has never been more thankful for his father’s partner’s extravagant tastes.

The bubbling water gurgles, and James waits patiently for Teddy to alert him when he’s done. But that’s not what happens. What happens instead is far better.

“Hey,” Teddy says, his voice strained. He leans close to James, their lips brushing together. “Shotgun?”

“Oh,” James breathes. “Um, okay.”

His eyes flutter shut, and he parts his lips in anticipation of the smoke coming towards his mouth. He’s done this a few times before with other mates, but usually they keep their distance to institute the whole “no homo” effect which seems to still run rampant and strong. James thinks the whole deal is obnoxious, really. Shotgunning a hit is hardly grounds for wanting dick in your mouth.

So James levels his expectations that Teddy will do something similar: get as close as he can with his mouth, without actually touching, before exhaling the heady smoke into James’s mouth. Instead, Teddy’s lips close tightly over James’s, the tip of his tongue gliding along the roof of his mouth as he exhales. James inhales sharply in surprise, the resulting coughing fit causing him to break the contact.

“Oh shit,” Teddy says, the rest of the smoke escaping his mouth in a large plume, as James bangs on his chest to distract from the spike of pain in his lungs. “You’re gonna be so fucked up.”

James punches at his chest harder, scrambling up into a sitting position. Teddy continues to chuckle, reaching over and pulling James's arms above his head and instructing him to breathe through his nose. It's a lot harder than it sounds, especially when he’s still choking on the too sharp inhale of bong smoke.

The tightening eases to a dull ache, one that has nothing to do with the near death choke. James glances down at his hands, crosses his legs in front of him. He savours the sickly sweetness of the smoke on his taste buds, and the roof of his mouth tingles from the contact of Teddy's tongue. He wants it again, and he wants it soon.

James swallows hard and whispers, "We could do that again, you know."

Teddy leans back on the flat of his palms, his head tilted to the ceiling. He gives a thoughtful hum, low in his throat and James bites down on his cheek to stop the whine that threatens to escape between his lips. "Shotgun?"

James shakes his head. “No,” he says, shaking his head again. It makes the room spin a little. “No, the... other thing.”

He chances a glance at Teddy, whose eyebrows shift from furrowed confusion to a dawning realisation. His eyes widen. “Oh,” he whispers. “Right.”

“I mean, if you don’t want to, that’s fine, I mean— Oh fuck,” James mutters, trying to ignore the flush in his face. The hit is starting to settle, and the effort to move his mouth to enunciate words is rather difficult.

Fingertips brush over James’s neck, the press of a palm against his rapid pulse. James bites his lip, his mouth parting when Teddy’s thumb brushes over his chin, tilting his head to the side.  
“James,” Teddy whispers. “Jamie, look at me.”

James lifts his head, and almost gasps. Teddy’s eyes are hooded and bloodshot and somewhat glassy, which is one hundred percent thanks to the unending strength of Purple Blaze, but the heat in the stare, the way Teddy’s gaze flicks back down to James’s mouth is not.

Then James edges closer, and Teddy turns into a blurry mess in front of him. He doesn’t want to miss this moment, the way Teddy’s eyes flicker shut, the way he exhales a long warm breath over James’s mouth. James closes his eyes when their lips press against each other, and James reaches out to wrap a hand around Teddy’s arm, squeezing it when Teddy slides the tip of his tongue over the seam of James’s mouth.

The kiss starts lazy and languid and a little too wet, but it’s the hottest thing that James has ever done in his life. Teddy glides along the ridge on the roof of James’s mouth again, and James can’t contain the moan that escapes deep into his throat. This must set something off in Teddy because then the kiss becomes more insistent, his hand tightening around the back of James’s neck pushing him closer.

James is slow on the uptake, but his body is not, and he can feel the strain in his joggers sounding the alarm that friction would be mighty helpful at this moment. He breaks the kiss, earning a small groan from Teddy that makes James’s cock twitch, and he has picked up on that little note, thank you. Somehow through the fog in his brain, clouded by the headiness of weed, James pushes Teddy’s back against the couch and straddles him. His knees skid across the floor and he almost falls out of Teddy’s lap, but Teddy grabs onto James’s waist and pulls him closer, their chests flushing together. James grinds down on and Teddy tilts his head back and moans, exposing his throat and James wastes no time placing open mouth kisses along it, licking at the pulse point just to feel it on his tongue.

“Fuck, Jamie,” Teddy murmurs, his voice lust-soaked and hoarse. James hums against Teddy’s throat, his hands palming over the exposed skin of Teddy’s chest, fingertips brushing his nipples. James wonders if they still have Cheeto dust over them, and moves his mouth over Teddy’s collarbone, towards that curious spot. Teddy gasps when James’s mouth sucks on one nipple, and he’s somewhat disappointed that it doesn’t taste of anything cheese related, but his dick doesn’t care because now there’s a muttered string of nonsensical words tumbling out of Teddy’s mouth.

It delights James to sit here and do just this, and even though his mouth feels heavy and his motor control is utter shit, it’s doing something for Teddy because James feels his hand tighten in his hair, tugging at the root and pulling him back up. James doesn’t even bother to shut his mouth, the task far too demanding.

Teddy’s breath is coming in short spurts, his chest moving up and down rapidly. His cheeks are flushed and his pupils blown, but James doesn’t know if that’s from weed or sex endorphins. But if Teddy’s dick is anything to go by he is into this, and James doesn’t understand why he made him stop.

“I just didn’t know you were so... into nipples,” Teddy says in reply and it takes a few seconds for James to realise he had said that thought out loud.

“Well,” James says, stretching the word around his mouth. It’s a hilarious word. “I was... curious.”

Teddy tilts his head, a weed induced smirk on his lips. “Curious?”

“You know,” James says, waving his hand in front of Teddy’s nipples as if that will provide all the answers. “Cheetos. Wanted to see if they tasted like Cheetos.”

“Ah,” Teddy answers as if this makes perfect sense. “The conclusion?”

James taps a finger onto his chin, searching for the perfect word for this rather difficult question. “In... In... Inconclusive.”

“Well, if you need to do more... research, I won’t deny you.”

“How very courteous of you.”

Teddy shrugs. “What can I say? Chivalry is not dead.”

James has never been one to back down from a fight, or an offer as perfect as this. He lowers his head and places his mouth over Teddy’s nipple, blowing hot breath on the sensitive area before moving the tip of his tongue in a clockwise motion to perk it up again. It turns hard from the onslaught of attention, and suddenly Teddy’s hands are grabbing for James’s hips to haul their bodies together. When their cocks touch at the right angle, James rests his forehead on Teddy’s shoulder, shuddering under the friction and whispering, “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Teddy agrees, breathless and shaky. “God, I’m close, just—”

James continues to circle his hips, earning another unabashed moan from Teddy. He loops his arm around the back of Teddy’s neck, and pulls him closer, their foreheads resting against each other, shuddering breaths ghosting over their lips. James cannot believe his luck, overwhelmed by the touch of Teddy’s skin under his palms, the heat of Teddy’s hands squeezing his arse, the hard ridge of Teddy’s erection touching James’s own. James watches Teddy tilt his head to the ceiling again, and with another lazy circle of his hips and a small twist of Teddy’s nipple between James’s fingertips Teddy wraps his arms around James’s waist and pulls him close, a loud high-pitched moan falling out of his mouth.

Teddy’s whole body goes limp, and James is sure he can feel something wet against his arse. “Um,” James starts, and licks his lips. “Did... you…”

The flush on Teddy’s cheeks turns darker and James’s stomach does a happy flip. His eyes avoid meeting James’s. “Uh, yeah,” Teddy says sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry.”

James snorts a laugh. “Teddy, do not be sorry. I am far from sorry right now. I may be high as fuck but I have wanted to do this for a long fucking time.”

Teddy’s eyes flick up, wide but bright, crinkling at the corners as his smile grows. “Yeah?”

James steals a small kiss and nods. “Oh yeah.”

“Well in that case... it’s your turn.”

James chuckles, nodding in agreement. He doesn’t know what Teddy will do but anything that involves getting an orgasm out of this deal is perfect. More than perfect. Is there a word to describe something as transcendent as Teddy Lupin touching James’s dick because if there is, James is considering getting it tattooed somewhere on his body. He will have to look into that later. Right now he has to focus on the fact that Teddy wants to help get him off.

But first things first: James really wants to kiss him.

“I really want to kiss you,” James says, and Teddy laughs, happy and loud.

“I’d like that.”

James smiles against Teddy’s mouth, and murmurs, “That’s good.”

They don’t hear the front door open and close. They don’t hear the jangle of keys hitting the table near the door. They don’t even hear the click of shoes against the wooden floors.

What they do hear, however, is the loud shout of, “What the actual fuck!” that escapes from Harry’s mouth as he enters his living room, leading to Teddy somewhat pushing James off his lap, reevaluating the decision, and pulling him back. Regrettably, this results in James ending up lying sideways on the floor, one leg up in the air and the other tucked uncomfortably on his side.

“Ow,” James says.

“Did you— James, did you get into Draco’s _weed_?” Harry snaps, setting down the bag of groceries he is carrying onto the table next to him.

“Uh, it’s not what it looks like?” James offers lamely.

Harry gapes. “It’s not what it looks like? It looks like my son and godson are fucking on my living room floor higher than Big fucking Ben is what it looks like!”

“Who’s Big Ben?” Teddy asks, voice confused.

Harry pinches the bridge of his nose. “Oh my god. Look, there’s a lot we need to unpack here, but the biggest problem is that Draco will murder the both of you for getting into his stash.” Harry takes off his glasses and rubs the heel of his hand into his eye. “I will never hear the end of this.”

“Well Dad, I guess you can be excited for the hot make up sex that comes after?” James offers, his words slurred together. All he wants to do is eat a kebab and take a nap. His dick can wait. Food first, then orgasms.

“Ew,” Teddy says, with a shake of his head. “I did not need that visual.”

“Okay, new plan,” Harry says with a clap of his hands, drawing both James and Teddy’s attention. “I’m leaving. You two are going to... fix yourselves up and take a nap or something. And make sure you do a smoke-be-gone charm or else I’m turning Draco on you.”

“Ta, Dad!” James says, flipping onto this back and wiggling his toes at Harry. It’s the closest thing he can do to a wave.

Harry turns to walk away and James catches a low exasperated mutter which sounds like “No one in this family can keep it in the bedroom. Too much to bloody ask,” most likely referring to how he caught Scorpius blowing Albus in the same living room the year before. James doesn’t care, though, because this means…

“You know what this means?” James asks, scooting closer to Teddy.

Teddy chews on his bottom lip in concentration. James wants to kiss him again for looking so damn beautiful even when he’s high as fuck and not catching up.

“It means,” James whispers dramatically, eyeing the kebab takeaway poking out from the top of the grocery bag. “We can eat Dad’s food he brought back.”

“Yasssssss,” Teddy says, moving to get on his feet and falling back onto the floor, his nose wrinkling in distaste. “Ugh, my jeans are gross.”

“I can fix that for you,” James says, jutting his chin towards the wet spot on Teddy’s jeans. “Wandless, too.”

Teddy laughs and kisses James. “I really rather you didn’t.”

The kiss grows deeper and James pulls back breaking it off. “Food first, then more orgasms.”

Teddy smiles wide. "Sounds like a plan"

James tilts his head back and sings, "Ayyyyy, smoke weed every day.”

Teddy cracks up, eyes crinkling with mirth, the sound making James’s insides thrill and James has got a strong suspicion he’ll never come down off this high.

**Author's Note:**

> Come Follow me on Tumblr @buildyourwalls // [Spotify Playlist for your enjoyment](https://open.spotify.com/user/mandebooks/playlist/6HtL48lZQdi4OlVhNFZgzn?si=T98O6HOjR8iQy1GkldSajA)  



End file.
